That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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