I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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