Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So squirting runs in the family.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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