ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
where are my eyebrows?
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