I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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