Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
