What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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