So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
