I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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