dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
