But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
