i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
