Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
