I think I am morally bankrupt
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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