Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
