she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
