I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
