so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
