i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
