Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
