in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
