hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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