Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
