I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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