I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
