Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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