i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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