I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
