I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
