I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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