so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
