i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
