Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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