what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize