We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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