i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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