i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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