This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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