i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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