My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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