I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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