but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
