whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
