Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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