so that wasnt chicken after all
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
