thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
