I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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