What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
