Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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