so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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