your parents love me but you hate me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
