Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
