im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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