I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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