these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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