Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
